Who, of those had seen me as a slave in Africa, could have expected what has since taken place! How unworthy am I of all that I have received and most unworthy of the honor of preaching the Gospel, which I too long despised and blasphemed! The language of Psalm 40:5 suits my soul well, “Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders You have done. The things You planned for us no one can recount to You! Were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare!”
There is no end to the inventory of my mercies! May He who has given so much to me, and done so much for me, add the crowning mercy of a thankful heart! Though I can talk of thankfulness, I feel much insensibility and hardness of heart; but, I know that, while sin dwells in me, it will have such effects.
Alas! though I know in theory what a Christian should be, I am still sadly deficient in practice! I am a poor creature, and see much to be ashamed of every day and in every circumstance. Yet, though sin will distress, it cannot condemn those who believe in Jesus! “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!” Romans 8:1
– John Newton